Highway to Helv |
26, Parts Unknown. Mark McGrath doesn't care for my shenanigans. My statues don't crumble for him. KIK ahelvie |
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Video
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NotesLonely Island - “DIAPER MONEY”
Hilarious.
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Chat
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NotesHomer: The United States is the New York Yankees of countries, powerful and respected until the year 2000. Abe: You know I love a good analogy. Homer: It was apt. -
Text
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Notes- I confirmed that YouTube channels can make money from their ads and their subsequent CPM (cost per thousand impressions).
- Jenna Marbles’ channel could be worth as much as $4 million.
- Angry.
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Quote
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Notes"As if every thought that tumbles through your head was so clever it would be a crime for it not to be shared."Erica Albright, The Social Network (2010).
Funny. The movie was about Facebook, but this sentence is all you need to know about Tumblr.
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Audio
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NotesI will forget about Kevin Devine for weeks on end, which is totally unacceptable.
(Source: Spotify)
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Text
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NotesIt’s pretty crazy how I never dipped anything in hummus until Sunday and now everything.
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Notes Widesweeping Generalization Not Meant To OffendThe official car of shady white trash in their early 30’s is the Pontiac Aztek.
How are there 4 of them in our 8-apartment parking lot?!?
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NotesSomeone spray painted a phallus on one of our billboards.
Today is going fantastic.
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Chat
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Notes Read Our Magazine or Die.We seriously get these calls at work every other day. This is an exaggeration for dramatic effect. Me: Hello, [business name redacted]. This is Andrew. Sam: Hello, this is Sam calling on behalf of Cabinet Maker Magazine is [any given employee] there? Me: What magazine? Sam: Cabinet Maker. We just want to update his information so that he can continue to receive this free publication. Me: That won't be necessary. We're an advertising company. Nothing to do with cabinets. Sam: People in all industries love our magazine, so if I could just get a confirmation of their name and address, we can send you copies of our magazine until the end of recorded time when the postman is raptured and only the cabinet-less heathens remain. Me: We don't want any. Please stop calling here. Sam: I understand, sir, but have you seen the gorgeous cabinets in our magazine. The centerfold this month is a beautiful oak cabinet. I regularly pleasure myself to it. You too must enjoy this. I will send your business a dozen copies without asking. Me: No. Save a tree. Don't send us anymore of your magazines and please stop calling. Sam: I cannot do that, sir. I am enslaved by the mighty cabinet deity and must do his bidding, spreading his love by way of this magazine. All hail the Birch God. Me: Please go away. Sam: I'll talk to you tomorrow, sir. -
Photo
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Notes
Skeptical, un-showered, tired face.
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I’m pretty sure this filter isn’t for almost albino people unless you’re in to having the majority of your face disappear.
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GPOI’mFinallyHome- Son’s lacrosse team’s banquet was tonight so I’m just getting home and headed out to run. The comments on my last post made me...
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I wore a pair of nice slacks to work today solely because they’re a size 2 and I fit in them.
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Hi from the mean streets of Boston.
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Only made it to the second night of work before I needed to break open a bottle. On a positive note I’m 115% to my month & only 10% away from my...
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The Company I work for just donated a million dollars to relief fund for the victims of the Tornado in Oklahoma.
I feel proud to work for them.
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I haven’t graced you guys with my face in awhile. Here you go. Confirmation that I still have one.
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Tuesday
Saturday night, I cried.
I walked out onto a balcony and called Dan and cried deep, body-shaking sobs.
It takes a lot to reduce me to...
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Hi guys. Can you comment with an update on your life? Please. Thanks.
